Trust in Me

There are big changes coming in my work situation.  We’re looking to hire someone who will be sharing a good deal of my responsibility, which I’m not able to do as well as I’d like with my remote work situation.  I struggle immensely with this because I know I’ve been equipped to do this work with excellence, I’m just not able to at this season in my life.  It’s a change that needs to come.

Fortunately, I’m blessed to be part of helping decide what will happen.  I’ve always been pretty open to the results of change.  I love going to new places, trying new things and finding new adventures.  But those are all thing of our choosing.  When something is a little more out of my control, I become less embracing, and more skeptical of what the future holds.  Granted, I’m not fearful.  Just uncertain.  And uncertainty can leave you with that sleepless, questioning, pit-in-the-stomach feeling that I’m not sure anyone can embrace, no matter how deep their faith.  Maybe there is a wee bit o’ fear in there?

As I have taken my concerns to the Lord, He is constant in telling me one thing, “Trust in Me.”  Now, I have asked for a variety of interpretations, a rephrasing if you will.  A different answer that may suit my fancy a bit better, but the message has been the only constant in this process.  If I’m going to survived, no thrive, with any sort of change in my life, a deep and reckless trusting in His plan is going to have to reign in me.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and He shall direct your path.”
Proverbs 3:5 & 6

Ah, yes, good ol’ Proverbs.  Nothing allows you a sigh of relief like a familiar Old Testament verse.  I know this one.  I believe this one.  I live this one.  Or do I?  Trust in the Lord.  Seems simple enough.  The root of the Hebrew word used in this passage addresses a sense of refuge.  That God is a place where we trust.  A protective space, if you will.  Ah.  Can you feel it?  Yes, I am sweetly guarded by the One who created me.  And because of that protection, this word also brings a connotation of boldness.  Now wait one minute.  I wasn’t looking to be bold.  I was just getting all comfy snuggly in God’s refuge.  Maybe trust isn’t so strong in me.  Let’s not even get into this “all your heart” business, because I don’t know if I can wrap my mind around this right now.

I shared some of my uncertainty with my boss.  I don’t question the changes that are coming.  They are good.  They will help the ministry.  And they very well may help me be able to do my job with a sense of refreshment that comes from not feeling like you’re coming up short all the time.  Towards the end of our talk, he said, “Terese, I want you to focus on one word here.  ‘TRUST.’”  My initial thought was “Have you been talking with God?”  But I was pretty sure he spoke with God often, so I left it alone.

"Trust in Me." Kaa has Mowgli right where he wants him.
I'm glad God never has to trick me to get me in His will.

In 2 Corinthians 1:9, the word “trust” rears its bold head once again.  “Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.”  Here a spirit of confidence comes across though the Greek  translation used.  It’s an authority from God, that the gift of His Son should be enough for me to believe that I cannot get myself into Heaven.  Do I believe this?  Yes!  With every ounce of my being.  Without that sacrifice, I trust I am doomed.  I would proclaim that boldly, without any reservation.

So why am I confident to believe what God has planned for my eternity, but less so about the plan He has for my time on earth?  Well, that’s the $50,000 question, I suppose.  If I can just believe with my being that He truly has ordered my days, now, and forever, I will be able to walk boldly…into the unknown.  Not “I should,” or “I may,” but “I will.”  I anticipate this change will come in me.  Not because of anything I have done, mind you. 

Picturing one solid path is helping me.  There is not time here, then time in Eternity.  No life here.  Then eternal life.  Time is one continual line.  One path.  One life.  One me.  One God.  And that’s never changing.